Some days don't you just feel the whole world is against you? I should have know the next 24 hours were going to be a roller coaster ride when I arrived home yesterday evening. There was a car parked in both spaces either side of where I should park but not enough space left for me inbetween them. I know I have a mini but that's its name, not its size! It's still a car width and I still need room to open the door and get out. I sat for about 2 minutes grrr-ing.. then I gave up, drove to the side of the lake and parked there. I've learnt that it's really not worth making a fuss about such things. Later in the evening I looked out and one of the cars had gone. I felt triumphant as I sneaked out of my flat, raced to get my car so I could park it in my own space. I do believe it's sometimes the little things that give me the most pleasure.
Little did I realise this was just the start of a disastrous day. I got up, not a problem. Okay, I admit I am a fan of morning radio 2 and am not happy that Graham Norton is spouting as I drive to work. Chris Evans is on holiday and I can't wait for him to get back in 2 weeks. I know it's silly but I like the sillyness of his morning programme. I never thought he'd do a better job than Terry Wogan but he really, really has. I love his show and when he's away, like he is right now, nothing seems quite the same. But hey, I'm a grown up so I can cope.. really, I can. I got to work, chopped a piece of watermelon into a zillion pieces and sat eating it thinking how thin I was going to be. Oh, how I wish I was thinner, but that's another story.
I am locked into more than one tricky work issue right now. I love my work. I'd go as far as to say, I am passionate about my work. I just don't love conflict and some people I work with clearly do. Maybe they're lucky and they forget their troubles when they go home at night. I bring mine home in a very big suitcase that sits in the hall staring at me as I try to go about my flat. I'm on my own right now so it's doubly difficult. No distractions, no happy chatty diversions, just stuff. Without being specific, I really do think today has been one of the worst work days ever. I have been troubled by not one, not two but a raft of issues that really don't belong in my world. Whoever said "It's the challenges that make you stronger" "Yoo hoo hoo" booming very loudly in a Santa-like voice is talking utter rubbish. I don't need challenges, I need support. I don't need nonsense, I need clear thinking. I worked out a long time ago that a lot of work issues boil down to respect. It's something that has to be earned and that's where some people get it so wrong.
Some people like to shout and scream when they're challenged. Others like to smash emails across cyberspace like little word grenades. I do neither. What I did though was write an email but as I think I've mentioned before, I would never write anything that I wouldn't want my mother to read. That's why my email was deleted before I sent it. On these occasions it pays to be sensible so I tapped a very brief and polite message to someone who I thought would be able to help. No, he doesn't wear red pants and a cape but he is someone I can rely on to be impartial when I'm being exceedingly emotional.
I was offered, chocolates, oil (not sure what he was thinking!) or just a sympathetic smiley face. I settled for the latter in the belief that if I got off my chest what was bugging me, I might feel a whole lot better. I got back to my desk to pick up an email from my mom. She was called to the hospital about dad. That's the point when I shut the lid of my laptop, packed it up and left the building. Suddenly I'm reminded what I should feel glad about today. If my mom can still be strong and feel glad then so can I. I drove home thinking that I really needed to be home where nothing else could happen. I spoke to mom then bought a dvd and something nice to cook for my supper. Freshly cooked pasta makes even the worst day feel a whole lot better :)
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