Thursday, 26 January 2012

That thing we call love...

I started Tuesday morning thinking this was going to be the worst day of my life and ended the day thinking it was quite possibly one of the best days of my life! Looking back on Wednesday morning I felt I'd been to the biggest and most amazing party on the planet! And I have my Mom and RIP Father to thank for that feeling. Tuesday morning was incredibly hard and painful but even the first service had touches of lightness and laughter (something you really wouldn't expect at a Crem!) thanks to Jack. My nephew is an amazing lad who knew exactly what to say and had a delivery worthy of any politician! His recollections of his Grandad (on behalf of his fellow grandchildren) and my Father were on the money and had us all in fits of laughter.

Jack said his Grandfather was a hoarder! "Quelle Surprise!" Whilst he could understand his obsession to keep plastic pots, jam jar lids and other bits and bobs just because they might come in useful one day, Grandad's obsession for collecting used lightbulbs and keeping them in an old onion net bag hung up in the garage was still a mystery to us all. His Grandad was solely responsible for the teasle population explosion in mid Wales and all the grandchildren remembered that as soon as they had learnt to drive they would be invited to go along to the skidpan with Grandad. As Jack said, it wasn't the skidpan that frightened them, nor the fact that there was usually an  ex policeman sitting beside them, nor the slipping around and need to brake when the car began to skid. It was the fact that they had to drive there with Grandad in the passenger seat and just one 'tut' meant they were in trouble!

Jack's recollections of his Grandad were exactly what we needed and lifted our spirits in a way I would never have expected just a few hours before.

When we got to Trinity, the car park was full and the church was packed with a brightly dressed congregation. There will never be another man like my Dad. And there will never be another service like that one. The wonderful slide show that Greg, my brother put together depicting Dad's life from a baby to adulthood, with his family, during the war, touching moments with Mom, with his children, grandchildren and more. Greg's eulogy, Liz's Robert Frost poem, Jacob's recollections, Marie's poem and Andris's Hungarian story made this a day to remember. I don't think I've ever sat in Church and felt so exhilarated and emotional all at the same time! There were tears, there was laughter, there was sadness and there were some real touches of genius! I was so proud of everyone, particularly my children of course, and all the grandchildren who showed extraordinary strength of character and great courage. I love my brother and sister to bits and both of them found that inner Szabo strength to read, enlighten and entertain - I know Dad would have been so proud and have no doubt he knew exactly what was going on. Finishing with a fabulous montage of photos and that special photograph of Mom & Dad with Eric in Morecome Bay with the tune, 'Bring me Sunshine' was inspired!

I was left with a great feeling of belonging and no amount of pain or feeling of loss can ever take that away. Dad may now be with us in spirit but his (and Moms) family values, their positive attitude to life, their courage. joy and patience, their encouragement and that 'Superfamily' Szabo strength are so deeply rooted in all of us that they are the glue that binds this family together every single day. As Jake said, Grandad taught all his grandchildren to stand up for themselves, be strong, be outspoken and that's why all seven are individuals and know who they are.

This was the final chapter so we celebrated by raising our glasses to Dad. I know that whenever I want to think about Dad and remember him, I have an amazing book of wonderful memories to call on.

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